About

Thank you for taking the time to read the articles and blog entries on the Survive Infidelity site.

Survive Infidelity

I am going to start right off and say all the things I am NOT so we all know where we stand! I am not a therapist, or a psychiatrist, or a counselor, or a doctor. I am, like you, a betrayed woman, but one that has come out the other side, is now over the worst of the pain, but is, occasionally, brought up short and forcibly reminded of it.

I started this site as a blog, as a sort of outlet for my own experiences, and then I kinda shaped it into a website, of sorts and started to look for resources for those trying to survive infidelity. I wanted to find the answer I suppose, to why people who are married would risk that marriage for the thrill of an affair. I also wanted to know whether it was the same for everyone who has been betrayed, did they all feel the way I did?

At each turn I seemed to find more questions than answers, but also found some really sad and shocking facts and statistics about infidelity. I certainly discovered that those who have been emotionally betrayed are NOT ALONE!

Did I survive infidelity?

I have survived infidelity twice! My husband had an emotional affair at work with a young woman who fell deeply in love with him and became pregnant with his child! He was so apalled by the fallout of this affair he confessed all and asked for my help. I tried to hold it all together, but to be honest it became apparent that he no longer loved me…and oddly enough I felt that he had a duty towards this girl and her baby!

This may seem odd, but through all the anger and the pain, I knew I was stronger than either of them…so we parted and he moved in with her. Two years later we were divorced, and he and the mother of his toddler had split up! Yes, he did try and come back to me, and honestly, I did consider it for a while, thinking that maybe we could start afresh and that it would be good for my boys. It was the children who put me straight, telling me in no uncertain terms that they thought daddy would hurt me again and they did not want to see that happen!

So, my ex sees our boys regularly and we remain civilized, sometimes we are even friendly!

Some years after that I did have a relationship and I truly thought it would be everlasting until the signs of cheating appeared…the unexplained phone calls, the late nights at work, the coolness whenever I talked about future plans. It did not take me long to discover the truth, but it did take me a while to allow myself to think I was being cheated on, I was in denial for some time! However, once I knew I gave the relationship and him an ultimatum; honesty and fidelity or bust…and bust was the outcome!

Currently, for those of you who want to know, yes I am in a relationship, and he was cheated on by his wife…so we are both very aware of what is at stake, and we talk openly about just about everything!  The point is, I survived infidelity and am still here, believing in love and trying again, older and wiser but ever hopeful.

I work as a mental health nurse in a local hospital, and many of the women I see have been destroyed by a relationship going wrong and in many cases they are examples of those who did not survive infidelity. I never dreamt it would happen to me. I now truly understand the pain they are going through, and hope that now, more than ever in my job, I can help them to recover.

I do believe in marriage and relationships, but more than anything I believe in honesty and truth and compromise…too many people throw away relationships without trying..mine ended but not until all avenues of repair had been exhausted. You can survive infidelity and your realtionship can be saved if you BOTH want that to happen. I hope to be able to help however I can….

Survive Infidelity becomes more than a blog!

In the coming weeks I shall be developing an email newsletter, a Facebook page and a Twitter account.  I have done the first review of a helpful resource, see I Like . I am really interested in your ideas and experiences, so please let me know what you think and feel, and we can take this healing journey together. I want survive infidelity to be more than my blog, I would like it to be a community that works towards helping women and men to survive infidelity and come out the other side stronger!

All the best,

Tammy