Sexting – What is it and why do people do it?

Is Facebook sexting the new form of cheating?

If you do not touch someone physically are you cheating?

According to Wikipedia, Sexting is, “The Act of sending sexually explicit messages or photographs, primarily between mobile phones.” Well I suppose we should be thankful that at least, so far, this is seen as an ACT not an ART. Apparently it was the British newspaper, The Sunday Telegraph that first defined sexting in an article, back in 2005. However, neither the Cambridge nor the Oxford English Dictionaries have recognized this as a true word yet! However, for those of you that think sexting is just between mobile phones; the faster growing form of sexting is facebook sexting!

Sexting has become a by word for poor behavior by politicians who clearly have not caught up with modern technology’s ability to “go viral”. It does seem amazing that men who cheat by mobile phone do not delete the evidence of their unfaithfulness! They clearly want to get caught! Just why men cheat by sexting remains a bit of an unsolved mystery at the moment, the ones who have been caught publicly do not seem to have an explanation. I am not sure if women have quite got into this particular form of infidelity, they may well be sexting like mad, but maybe they are just smarter about being caught? The relationship between cheating, having an affair, betrayal of trust and technology, is now something appearing as a topic in marriage counseling all over the world.

If you do not touch someone physically are you cheating?

Technology and having an affair

Since the launch of the Internet, people have been finding ways to “virtually cheat”. In other words, fulfill your fantasies, pretend to have an affair, say what you want, because after all you are not actually having sex are you? Instant messenger services such as MSN and Yahoo Messenger became hot and steamy places where total strangers through public profiles could IM each other and say virtually what they liked. Add a web cam into the mix and the two people having a virtual chat could see pretty much what they liked! Now, don’t get me wrong;two consenting adults..SINGLE adults..can get up to what they like as long as they do not scare the horses! It becomes an issue when one or other of the participants is in a relationship with someone else. It is difficult to confirm actual sexting statistics, but I would say, personally, that more and more women are writing in describing their husbands infidelity being discovered through the media of facebook and phone sexting, so it is definitely a growing phenomena. Nowadays people have moved on from messenger and phone sexting to include images and also for a more instant response they use social media sites such as facebook and twitter. Facebook sexting has an added thrill, that of apparently flirting in public with cryptic posts on your page, whilst sending private messages including pictures to one particular person! Twitter allows you to attach encrypted links (known as bitly’s) so that anyone reading it cannot see what is included, but private “tweets” are used for one to one communication. What I find funny is that these people in the news who have been caught, quite often have only partly understood the technology they are using, and what they thought was private has turned out to be available for all to see!

So why do people SEXT? What’s with sexting?

There is something strangely anonymous about the internet and even mobile phones, not when you are speaking, but when the communication takes place through a keyboard. It is very easy to type something reckless,crazy,risque, yes you see the words, but most of us feel less of a commitment emotionally to the written word. Many men can write the words “I love you” in a Valentines card (or at least sign their name under the cards printed declaration of love), but actually saying those elusive three little words, no chance!! In much the same way, writing down what you would like to do sexually is a lot easier than saying it. In some ways it is curiously liberating, communicating with someone this way, and certainly it is a great technique for revitalizing a relationship, but it is not secure! Between consenting single adults it is a private matter how they use technology, but sexting is not private, it is oddly public, despite those taking part thinking the contrary. Mobile telephones, smart or otherwise are often stolen and lost. There are literally millions of people using Facebook and Twitter and if you are a famous person, everything you say is up for scrutiny. Pictures stored on a phone are easily found by a concerned and suspicious spouse, and, worryingly, a nosy co worker or boss. Once you let a naked picture of yourself loose into cyber space it is fair game. The anonymous lady or gentleman with whom you think you are having “harmless” fun is more than capable of uploading a picture to the Internet for all to see. Texts do not disappear until thoroughly deleted by BOTH parties, and nowadays, technology can retrieve just about anything. So, whether you are sending sexy messages by text; uploading pics to your iPhone; Tweeting indiscreetly or facebook sexting, it is likely you will be caught and your indiscretions exposed! Technology may have created new and easy ways to cheat, but it has also created clever ways to catch those who cheat!

PS. It seems those politicians still have not learnt!

Online Sexting Scandal of a Politician

See part two for When Does Sexting Become Cheating?

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