Unfortunately when the question arises why do men cheat, we need to clear the air and say once and for all that it is a proven fact that men cheat more than women. Women are not angels by any means and of course, there are some women out there that cheat just as often as men do. If you are in a situation where your partner/husband is cheating on you then you are probably asking yourself “Why do men cheat?”. Well there are several factors that come into play when a man is faced with the decision of whether to cheat or be faithful.
Do men cheat because of sex?
Why do men cheat– because they are not getting enough sex?
Well in some cases this is definitely the reason, but for the most part, men cheat because they have the feeling they are in some way not getting the emotional support for their partner that they deserve. Women are usually in the mind that if their husband is unhappy, give them sex. Although I’m sure the men in our lives are not complaining about the amount of sex we are giving them, they also need to feel that they are appreciated for their efforts.
For most men, their goal is to provide a safe and loving home for their family to share with them. The stress of this can sometimes be overwhelming for them and a little affirmation that they are doing a great job taking care of the family goes a long way.
Why do men cheat –because I don’t look or dress the way I did 5 years ago when he met me?
If your’e a stay at home wife/mother it is so easy to get yourself into a daily routine with the house work and kids and find yourself wearing a comfy pair of sweatpants all day. Or maybe you are a business woman by day, that all you want to do is get home and put on your stretchy pants and t-shirt. I’m sure there is nothing more a man would want than to come home to his wife standing at the sink doing the dishes in her Lingerie, but the truth is that’s probably not going to happen. But making that effort once in a while will definitely help to keep the spark alive. He had to have been attracted to you in the first place, so every now and again, remind him why he fell in love with you!
Over 60% of men that were questioned about their premarital affair said that they felt very guilty about cheating on their spouse or partner and could have sworn before it happened that they would never have done this to their spouse. Knowing this statistic is very scary because it shows that even guilt will not stop your partner from cheating. This being said, it is now up to you to make sure your marriage is where you want it to be and is heading in the right direction.
Do men cheat? Well of course they do, but so do women. Just knowing the steps you can take to hopefully prevent it from happening to you is a great head start. If you want to know more on this topic, check out my book, Reasons Why Men Cheat
Below are my other popular posts about why do men cheat, feel free to read them.
Helpful advice Elisabeth!
Tammy
Dear Susie,
I am replying to this a little late (your post was 4 months ago), but I am in a similar situation with my husband, and I am 20 years younger than you (48). He revealed that he has been acting out sexually for the past 4 years but only JUST revealed it to me in January of this year. I have been absolutely beside myself for the past 3 months, cannot stop crying, so depressed all the time. I go to therapy, talk to friends, and try to find comfort in spiritual practices.
You may also want to find support group meetings of S-Anon (for partners of sexaholics/sex addicts), if there are any in your area, because they can be extremely helpful. Check this site, and go to a meeting (http://sanon.org/meetings/meetinglocations.html). You don’t even have to talk. Just listen to others’ stories (they’re mostly women, but anybody can be affected by the behavior of a sexaholic).
Before you do anything, give it a little time for your emotions to settle. They are raw right now (as mine are). It’s helpful to listen to the experiences of other women who have gone through experiences of infidelity, and to hear how they came through it.
Dear D
you are holding onto something from your past..work out what is still unresolved..did your ex leave you? if so, maybe this is your way to prove to her that hse is missing out..a sort of odd revenge?
is your current girlfriend so perfect she makes you feel unworthy of her? The only way to forgive yourself is to figure this out..and I strongly suggest that you get yourself a reality check sooner rather than later..nobody is perfect, we are all human with flaws and irritating habots..stop idelising your girlfriend..and cut off all communication with your ex..move forward but in a more realistic manner!
Tammy
Dear A
I can only say that it takes time and a lot of open communication..no secrets, no lies, and patience…
Tammy
Everything was perfect. As perfect as can be.. yet I cheat on her with my ex and I can’t find out why.
She said she truly forgave me…but I still can’t forgive myself…
our relationship lasted for 1 yr and 4 months. on our 11 months he went to hong kong because his job was there. there’s no exact date when he’ll come back here. but he’ll be here on august to have a vacation. he cheated on me twice but deep inside my heart i still want to forgive him and work it out. but most of my friends told me to let him go and love myself and he’s not worth it. but right now though we broke up we still have a communication but as a friend. and he was asking for another chance and he’ll make everything right this time. the problem is i’m afraid to trust him again. thank you for listening to me.
How to you forgive, but can’t forget…how do you get past it all?
Dear Ms Drained
you do not say how old you and your boyfriend are? Also, why is he in Hong Kong?
From what you are telling me it seems as if your boyfriend is really unsure right now and also needs some proper help..as he has taken an overdose. I do not see how you can help him from so far away..and am worried that you are being sucked into an emotionally destructive relationship.
I think you need to try and talk to his family and find out what is going on..but am inclined to agree with your friend that rushing off to HK is not a good idea right now. Long distance relationships are hard at the best of times, but in this case I am not sure it is going to work.
Is he due to come back? if so, when?
my feeling is that you tell him he needs to get some help and that you will be a good friend, but you feel unable to trust him right now and you two need to talk properly when he returns.
By all means keep the lines of communication open…but until you two talk honestly and calmly without all this conflicting emotion it will not be a realtionship you can save.
I hope he gets the help he needs. meanwhile focus on rebuilding your own life, in your own country and getting yourself stronger.
Tammy
drained trust
I had a long distance relationship he is now in hong kong. I love my ex boyfriend so much but we broke up last monday cause someone told me that he’s cheating on me that he has a girl and this is the second time. the first time he cheated on me was last year when we were still together same country, same school I felt so stupid cause the girl that he’s flirting was a really a good friend of mine. at first i don’t put any negative thoughts about it cause i trusted him sooooooo much when i asked him whose with you he will said that he’s with his friends and with that girl but i didn’t give any complain i saw them together on the library on in the canteen i don’t give any words but there comes a rumors that some of our friends were teasing them already so i just told him to stay away from that girl and he said he will. then one day when we had a fight he broke up with me 1st break up, but after a day he came to me and said sorry and he didn’t mean it and i asked him where did he go when we broke up yesterday he said that he watched a movie with that girl but i didn’t give any negative thoughts about it i just put it in a positive way and same thing i just told that stay away from that girl and he said he will. so i thought he did but one day i was checking his facebook i saw their chat with that girl and its so painful to find out that he never stopped and they started last year May until the day of september the month that he’s going to leave to go to other country. i found everything a week before he’s going to leave so my mind and heart wants to forgive him as soon as possible because in just a week has left for us and i want it to be memorable so after a day, he came to my house at 3am in the morning asking for forgiveness and he even wrote a letter nd baked my favorite dessert. he said that he will never do it again. so i forgave him for the second time around i heard so many things about he did with that girl. they kissed they go out and i asked him if he said i love you to her and he said no he doesn’t love that girl…but when i get the chance to talk to that girl my friend she said that he did he said i love you…its very very painful to hear it…i thought im just the one the only one…when i asked him why did he say that to her he said that i dont love her i just used that words jut to get her feelings. what was that? is that possible that he doesn’t love that girl he even kissed her and said i love you?? and then recently i got another chance to talk to that girl she said that my bf called her when he was already in hong kong that was november that he’s saying sorry to her and he even told to her that he is committing the same sin again so the girl my friend wants to be honest and she told me everything she know..and then another pain for me that why can he tell it to her why not to me why can he be honest to that girl why not to me? why? so i talked to him what is it all about the another sin and he said that its just a textmate for a 1 month it started november and he ended it 1st week of december..he said he stopped it because he love me how can you say he stop? its been a month? so i break up with him i didn’t talk to him for like a days but he keeps on texting and calling me he said he hadn’t slept for 2 days and eat properly and then he’s asking my forgiveness nd just believe in him that he’ll change and he’ll do everything to win me back..im not afraid to love im just so afraid to trust…i love him so much and i couldn’t imagine him being with some one else and he also think that way but i told him that we need to breath in and just realize everything he’s asking me to trust him again i cant answer it cause the pain is still here the trust that i gave to him was drained already but he’s asking for another chance and he’ll prove it to me he’ll court me no matter what and i gave him another chance to do it to win me back…and suddenly after i took a shower he’s calling but i didn’t get a chance to answer it so when i called him he’s not answering it anymore then his housemate called me that he was overdosed and they’re taking him to the hospital…i was so furious and im getting crazy worried i don’t understand the feeling.but now he’s stable and conscious. i was really eager to fly to hong kong but one of my friend told me not to cause she said that he’s gona use that to you if ever you go back with him. a part of me always want to forgive him and give it a try again but im just too afraid to get hurt and feel the same pain that he’s gona do it again. i’m not ready to let him go….not ready to see him with another girl that another girl is making him happy. but lots of my friend told me that let him do an action first before you go back to him and think first think everything…all i know is that i love him..am i stupid? or what should i do first? i was really having a hard time right now?? please i need an advice…
Dear M
i have only one piece of advice…LEAVE NOW…he is a narcissist caught up in using women to make him feel good..and getting you to work far too hard to please HIM. he does not want to marry you, that is a delay tactic..to keep you close, then he pushes you away..then pulls you back again..GET OUT before he destroys the last shred of your self respect.
This is NOT the time to follow your heart..your mind is right..get away from this elfish egotistical monster..and yes I am being extreme..i am very angry..YOU DESERVE BETTER THAN THIS.
Tammy
PS – go see a therapist..you should not reward a cheater with sexual favors..you need to unlearn this response to betrayal!
I have been with my boyfriend for over a year now and he continuously cheats on me and when I find out and he gets mad at me. I please him sexually, I’m there for him mentally(I always tell him I love him, how much I appreciate him) I stand behind him in everything he does, I’m even there for him spiritually. I try to get him to go to church but he refuses everytime. And this last time I caught him I was furious. It took everything in me not to lash out at him.
Everytime I try to break things off he says he’s not “leaving me.” I told him it was the last straw and he assured me that I wasn’t the reason for his cheating but he thinks he needs help to stop cheating. This doesn’t make sense to me at all.
He asked me to marry him and now that it’s getting closer to the date he’s started an argument and then unleashed the fact that he wasn’t ready to marry me. I love him so much but my mind is telling me to get as far away from him as possible. If you have ANY advice could you please help me?!!
Dear confused
Stop asking him to say it..say it yourself, to him, to his daughter..to your family..rejoice in the words..Don’t let him denigrate this..show him by actions that saying I love you can be joyful and make people feel good.
His passive agressive behavior will ultimatly destroy your marriage..so if he has these unresolved feelibgs he had better go sort them out! make it clear to him that marriage is built on communication and trust..both lacking right now. Tell him this is serious, you see the marriage breaking down and you want to repair the damage..but he has to want this too.
do not leave this un- discussed
Tammy
Dear S
you have invested 7 years of your life..and have a child to consider..NO it is not something to end your relationship over. YES you need some help, support and to understand.
You also need to boost your own self esteem and confidence. TELL your boyfriend that you feel betrayed, you need to understand why and you need regular reassurance that this won’t happen again.
You two need to get some flirting of your own back into your relationship…after 7 years you probably both ake each for granted. The pain will ease, but only if you focus on moving forwards…try not to look back.
spend some good time with your guy, maybe someone can babysit? get back the connection you two had and the flirting with others will stop.
let me know how it goes?
tammy
Confused
After just 2 years of marraige my husband refuses to tell me that he loves me, and he will not tell me why, he tells me that it is just words, but he tells his daughter in front of me that you can never say those words enough…………………………. he is passive aggresive buy the way. I think that he is punishing me for something but he refuses to tell the truth about why over night he stopped saying those words to me…… I beleive that he still has unresolved fellings for his baby’s mama…. any clues would be helpful…  Â
We’ve been together for 7 years now and already have 4 -year old kid. I recently  found out that he is flirting with his co-worker.  They texted and called each other regularly. The girl he is flirting with is separated but has 2 kids. It hurt me so bad. The pain is too much to bear. He is my only and first boyfriend I ever have. I don’t know how to handle the situation. My confidence has lost and suffer self pity. My boyfriend assured me that nothing happened to them and it is just purely a game and flirting but there no physical involve yet. They have been doing this for 2 months. But why I could not believe him? He promise that it won’t happen again. But why is it too hard to forgive and believe? Why I am still in pain and cannot move on?  Is it better for me to give him a second chance or let him totally out of my life?
Good Luck tomorrow!
I will found out what should i do tomorrow after I talk o the lawyer,I wanted to give hi another chance,but it feels like his not trying his best to work things out,on our anniversarry..all he did is sent me a meesage saying Happy Anniversarry and then after 4 days was my bday..he just greet me and he said “atleast I made an effort! Woooo! For me when u say effort is something u do like “Calling and be the first person to greet you! But its just make me feel more depress on how he is! He dont talk to us or atleast wanting to see us by YM. He sent message right before he sleep and then after that nothing else..I dont know how to make hi realize what he has been doing is wrong and make everything worst! It makes me feel like he never wants me back in his life and Your right..i have a feeling that he just wants to be with me just because of the guilt he have done..Its really sad!
Dear jm
I rther think that your husband is staying with you out of some distorted feeling of guilt, and you are right to feel that he has stopped loving you.
Time apart my clarify matters, but my feling is that you should prepare yourself for divorce..I do not think he wants to be with you anymore, which is a terrible shame,, espeially for your son.
Try to be fair, don’t keep him from your child. If you can maintain a calm and fait attitude, he may realise what he is truly losing and the marriage could be saved.
I wish you luck, let me know how it goes?
Tammy
I have been married for 6 years and we have been together for almost 7..we have 1 son,I love,respect,and trust him so much. For me he is my soul mate,and my night and shining armor. We love each other so much and friends use to call us the “sweet couple” because the way we are. Never once thought in my life that this man will hurt me this much! It all happens when he has to be away from us for 2 years because he has too,and also he is in the military. Everything is falling apart after 10 months he was there..i visit him a lot but I still dont know why he has to cheat! He told one of his friend that he has fallen out of love from me But then he acts and pretend that he loves me so much! when we fight so much about something his blaing me for He wanted to abandon us and wants to divorce me At first He blame me for something I didnt do just to cover up his mistake. He spend our savings, dont have much time to talk to us,I feel so hopeless! But when I found out that he cheated on me,he wants my forgiveness,He wants me back. and I also have a proof that he really did cheat! I did,gave him another chance..but everything between us is completely different! He’s cold! I dont know what to do,I love him but I love myself and my family too! I file for the divorce and see whats going to happen when he comes back for 1 month being away from us again! I dont want to loose him,but I guess everything has an ending..he dont deserve me,and my love!
If i get a chance to be with her i will never ever cheat or do anything that would put pain in us again ! And thank you for for shearing with me , and im sorry for your pain … i have hurt and been hurt in this world and growing from it has been hard … Now just want to feel good cause feeling this way ; missing my life with the kids and her .Im mad at myself for what i did .. this is all my fault !Â
we were in relataionship  for 3 years, we are married , 9 month age, we have baby boy now he is cheating with heis baby mother , way do men cheat?
Dear what to do
you do not say how old you two are, nor how many partners you have had before each other? my feeling is that for both of you this could be the big serious relationship and you both hit a rough patch…this happens as you move from dating to semi serious to OMG this could be THE relationship.
He wobbled, he lost a bit of confidence in the relationship and you were both a bit unsure…this is part of life! he has not been sexual with her..he clearly broke it off when it got too close for comfort and my feeling is that he sort of made a decision that he wanted to move forward with you.
Then you found out..and the doubts he was keeping to himself are now surfacing and have to be shared..he has got past them but your discovery has woken it all up!
NO you are not being stupid to stay with him, unless you don’t love him? Do you feel like maybe he IS the one? If so, then don’t throw this away over a wobble..keep talking, find out his dreams and views of the future, see if you two can figure this out together.
You will be stronger for it!
Tammy
Dear please
first things first..your infidelity does NOt allow him to keep you from your kids!
Right now I am more concerned that he is shutting you out form them than him…and the lonegr you leave it without fighting for them the more likely you are to lose all custody in the long run.
For goodness sake, he is emotionally abusing you by keeping you from your children, maybe he wants to punish you, maybe he has stopped loving you..frankly that is neither here nor there..you MUST FIGHT FOR THE RIGHT TO SEE YOUR CHILDREN!
The rest, wheher you two will get back together or not plaes into insignificance beside the fact that your kids are losing their mother!
STOP fretting over him…this level of cruelty does not bode well and frankly i am appalled at his behavior!
GET A LAWYER…do not destroy your future with your children for a mistake in your past their father won’t forgive you for!
Seriously….take this seriously…you will never forgive yourself if you lose your kids..and don’t accept excuses like he cannot bear to see you…he cannot keep your kids from you..focus on this FIRST, and NOW!
Tammy
Tammy,Â
. anyways after that stopped it was early middish december and he said hey can you text me and she said sure. That was the end of it. Now im left wondering what they were texting about.. how often. How did it end.everything. so i find out like january 28th while i was at my friends. I called him and said i was coming and i told him. He appologized, I know that he was sorry I could tell that he was geniune. hes said its all his fault. he said he wasnt thinking and he had no idea what he was thinking. but I really wanted to know why. I know that around that time things were different feeling in our relationship. Like we had forgot to try. We were “happy” we got a long but i can even say it was like we  stoppped communicating. He told me he could feel himself changing. and everytime i asked he would say he rteally didnt know what he was feeling. but i was persistant.. i told him that i really needed to know that for me to get over it. I know that he didnt know what he was thinking to do that.. but i know that that he had to feel some kind of emotion that was from something in our relationship for him to do it. He told me that he was feeling distant. and i knew that that was true. The weird thing is that things seemed to get better before i found this out. I think that he stopped it because he knew he was being stupid. When i saw it and told him I jsut said that he ruined everything. I said it couldnt be the same, I was so upset. He told me he was so scared he was going to lose me that night. I should have i suppose.. but i didnt feel it. Maybe its that i have been with him since it happened and stopped. maybe if i had found out when it was going on i would have actualy left? not sure. Anyways.. he has tried to make it better he has taken full blame and told me that its not my fault at all.. i feel like it is somewhat of my fault.. but at the same time i wasnt feeling myself and it didnt lead me to go talk to some other guy. He didnt hook up with her or anything. the only time they hung out was once at a bar that everyone he works with sometimes goes to .. its right by his work. He really is trying to be reasurring that he is in love with me. hes trying to make all these little date ideas with me. and i know that he doesnt want to lose me.. but at the same time i am scared. because will things become ok? I had so much trust in him and i want to trust him again.. I still have a little bit but only if im feeling like everything will be ok. Am i being stupid to stay with him..
I have been dating my boyfriend for about 2 and a half years. People always say how we are such a good couple. We have never broken up and really can’t say there has been any kind of over the top fight. He will even talk about how good we are together. We were so happy. We talked about the future, he sometimes will tell me that I’m the best thing thats ever happened to him. I could never describe how perfect our relationship felt. I was at a friends and got on his facebook.. which I never do even though I have had the password all this time. But i did, and i saw messages with a girl that he works with. He started working there sometime in June.and the messages were the middle of november. She said hey to him on a comment and then Hey was like hey whats up and then they took it to message. I guess they had been flirting at work. There was two different days of messaging on there. some things said were just What music do you like, whats your favorite color. stupid shit that still made me mad because Why was he trying to get to know her in the first place. But I also read things like I thought of you today. and I’m kind of crushing on you. and herr.. well she just sounded like she needs to be slapped. She said this or text we need to choose one. She asked him do you not like your girl anymore and he said i do like my girl but its just getting complicated. That hurt because i thought whoa like.. what happened to being in love. The messages stopped after those two days it was the 21st and 22nd. He came to my house for thanksgiving too
Hi Tammy
Yes i know i needed to feel attention from him and to be appreciated , but these are all the things he has been telling me, he needed and he doesnt beleave me when i tell him i do appreciate him so much .
 I never asked him;if we should go out . I always felt he should be the one. Their hasnt been one night that i layed down beside him and not wanted to make love to him , but so many time their was this cold feeling coming from him, You know when someone never ;says goodnite or give you a kiss first . it was always me that started sex with him not the other way around it was me that always kiss first goodnite and hello as well. I felt like he really deep down didnt love me.
And as for flirting with him yes i did tuch him all over , caress him all over before sex and after sex i just loved to run my fingers over his body til i fell asleep. he didnt do these thing to me , when i need to feel him this way loving me body and soul.
He is the one with the house i have nothing he told me to leave to give him time out from it all . I miss my kids so much, i have to drive by the house on my way back from work and i just fall apart . he wont let me back in and he wont say when i can come back . I did lie to him first about what happned .I just knew i would never do it again so i didnt want him to know !
But i havent been lieing to him at all about what happend. He´s not showing or tell me that we should be together. I wish you could tell him we should be together so he could hear it from someone other then me. I know he hasnt told anybody about this,
I need him and the kids in my life im lost without them
Dear Please…
ok, you weren’t thinking at the time..well actually you were, you were thinking you wanted attention, you wanted to feel appreciated..you wanted the illusion of love..and you risked a long term relationship and your family for that.
No softly softly on this one..you have made a huge mistake, you were selfish and thoughtless…and although your “old man” did not seem all that desirable then, now he wants to leave you relaise what you have lost.
Step 1 – no BLAMING…he may not have shown you love the way you needed it..did you talk to him about it? Did you try and work on the house with him, go on dates, flirt with him..??? NOW you have to FIGHT for him.
Don’t for one second let him take the kids from you..that is non negotiable, you are their mother, they need you.
Keep telling him you love him, but understand why he is so mad at you…
Suggest counseling…after all does he not believe it is better you two stay together?
He is angry right now..or maybe just maybe..he was falling out of love with you before and now you have given him the excuse to end it.
Either way, keep the lines of communication open..never say never..and DO NOT LIE TO HIM…you have to be honest..you have to let him know how you felt, but without blaming..
example…don’t say..”you ignored me..” instead
say, “I envied you all the time you spent on the house..I was jealous of it..I wanted more of you and your love..”
You cannot blame him, he did not cheat..he may have neglected you but it could well have been a symptom of the rut long term relationships get into..and he may not have realized…
I wish you luck, it will not be easy but if you love this man and your children you won’t give up without a fight!
Tammy
Dear Tammy .
where do i start i miss my boyfriend so much. He doesnt love me anymore. we
been together for 12 years now , we have kids that i love so much.
everything started about 2 years agor he didnt show me love in the way i
needed from him , he didnt have time always working on the house not
know i was alive. and it just seam like its been this life with a old
man
I found myself wanting sex with someone other then my man and it
happened i had sex just this one time and now hes wante me to leave him with the kids. its killing me. please i need help what do i to show him i love him and make him under stand that i was not thinking at the time.
Dear Naomi
you say it yourself, the first 12 months can define a relationship. yours has been defined by a lousy man who takes what he wants, rejects you to control you and swans around the place being a “rock star” while you slave away building a home.
WAKE UP AND SMELL THE ROSES! he only wants you for what you provide.THIS IS NOT LOVE.
please naomi, see a lawyer and a therapist.
Step 1 – recover your self esteem
Step 2 – THROW HIM OUT and start afresh
Tammy
Dear T
please, please please go and get some help! Your anger is burning off the page and your humiliation is destroying you..I am sorry but i have had to dlete some of your comments because they are just too much..please go and see a therapist..not becuase you have done anything wrong, but you cannot handle all this anger and pain alone!
Dear L
this is not a good relationship and frankly it seems pretty self destructive! He has cheated several time, has put your health at risk and you do all the work in the relationship. His mother’s situation is not a valid excuse..you two should be working together on this.
Get to a therapist..emotionally you are a mess and need help to sort this out. It is much too complicated to handle alone..and my feeling is you would be better off out of this relationship.
Tammy
So this is how those lonely bitter old men are born. Â If you can’t talk to your woman, then you are with the wrong one. Â People choose each other. Â And if they both want it to work, they will talk. Â It’s not hard. Â I don’t understand what so many men are really afraid of. Â It’s better to talk it out and move on, then be deceitful and turn the whole relationship to shit. Â But I guess some men are too lazy or chicken to even try. Â I love being in love. Â I hope I don’t die a lonely bitter old lady. Â Â
Beccahosierr,Â
Your situation sounds EXACTLY like mine. Â You sound exactly like me. Â And your guy sounds exactly like my guy. Â I’ve been with my guy for 5 years. Â For the first half a year to a year, he was perfect, SO into me. Â And nearing the end of the first year he started to change. Â Â Â He never wanted to talk about it. Â He said I wasn’t doing anything wrong. Â But he would still treat me like crap. Â He promised to change, but rarely took any action. Â I even would leave notes by his computer because he wouldn’t let me talk to him about it and I wanted him to know how I feel. Â He’s addicted to the internet, so I knew that would be the best place to leave a note. Â But these notes only seemed to make him mad. Â I would also practically get down to begging him for sex and still be turned down a lot because he doesn’t feel well or is tired. Â Tired from what? Â I don’t know. Â He barely works. Â I work 70 hours a week, and still ready for a romp before bed or in the morning before work. Â Anyway, as much as I loved him, I would try to break it off because I just didn’t see a light at the end of the tunnel. Â I was lonely and bored with him. Â But when he saw me slipping away, he would suddenly give me everything I wanted from a him all along. Â I felt loved again and it was exciting again. Â But it never lasts. Â He always reverts back to his old ways. Â
I wasn’t looking for it. Â It wasn’t my idea. Â And I said “no” the first time the opportunity arose. Â I let the idea saturate in my head for a while, and couldn’t resist the next time the opportunity came. Â What am I talking about? Â Well, 2 years of being ignored and a lame sex life had lead me into the arms of his SUPER SEXY friend. Â I enjoyed a secret sex life with this guy for quite some time. Â It was so exciting. Â This guy was so passionate. Â He was everything I wanted in a lover. Â And I would have left my guy in a heartbeat for him. Â Trouble is, this guy has a girl who lives out of the country, which he only sees for about a month out of the year. Â He loves her and ultimately wants to be with her. Â But in the meantime, we were jut there for each other to get out our sexual frustrations. Â He was the only person I’ve ever cheated with. Â I am against cheating. Â Never thought I could do it. Â But eventually my human desires got the best of me. Â I just wanted to feel sexy and wanted sexually again. Â I haven’t been with this guy in about a year. Â I always felt guilty. Â I have tried to pull away to work on things with my guy. Â Though he did contact me a couple months ago. Â It didn’t go further than a few texts to see how each other is doing. Â My boyfriend never found out about any of this. Â
Back to my boyfriend… Turns out not soon after I cheated on him, he heated on me with a girl he met at a bar. Â A friend of ours ratted him out. Â I was heartbroken and felt betrayed. Â I never expected this out of him because of his lack of sexual desire. Â He always said he had a low sex drive and deprived me of sex. Â So I felt like, how could he not have sex with me, the girl he loves, but he could be with a complete stranger? Â I never suspected he would cheat. Â In retrospect, I think he was feeling bad for how he was with me and it was easier to give it to a stranger that he will never have to see again. Â Long story short, I forgave him.
During our 3rd and 4th year, I grew suspicious of him. Â I found out that he was talking to a lot of women online. Â He called it networking (for his band). Â But the things he was saying to them were out of line to me. Â He said it was okay to flirt because it’s not like he was fucking them. Â I have no control over him. Â But I still didn’t like it. Â Â
Going into our 5th year together, that brings me to where I am today. Â We bought a house. Â Things were rocky in the beginning because he can never hold a job and I was paying all the bills. Â And beyond that, he will rarely work on the house, even though he’s home most of the time. Â I work 70+ hours and still come home and paint walls, do drywall, tear out carpet, etc. Â We would argue. Â I started to give up and stop trying to get him to help because it was only frustrating me. Â We got along a little better and I thought things were going decently. Â Then, another one of his friends ratted him out and told me that my guy had been cheating on me with 2 different women around the time that we were moving into the house. Â This all came to light last month. Â And he said it was because we were arguing at the time. Â I’m currently trying to work through this. Â But it’s hard because he doesn’t feel guilty. Â He acts like if we aren’t getting along, that he is entitled to cheat because “it’s only sex.” Â Yeah, maybe it’s only sex. Â But I don’t get it nearly enough. Â I never turn him down. Â He has no good reason to look elsewhere. Â I’m always ready to go. . Â And sometimes we go a month or longer without sex. Â It’s hard to want someone so bad, and lay in bed the them every night, and get swatted away when you try to touch them. Â It’s SO frustrating. Â I daydream about my lover from before. Â But I don’t want to cheat on my boyfriend. Â And I can’t stand the thought of him cheating on me. Â He swears he loves me and doesn’t want anyone else. Â I don’t know where to go from here or what to make of it all. Â I guess what I was getting at is that if your guy is that bad within the first year, you are in for a rocky relationship. Â Mine has been nothing but rocky. Â I’ve left a lot of things out of my story. Â They don’t get better, only temporarily better. Â I’m about to turn 30 next month. Â And I feel like I’ve wasted 5 years on this dead end relationship. Â I love him and I don’t know why. Â I know I deserve so much better. Â I guess I just hate to start over. Â And the longer I stay with him, the harder it gets to break it off. Â I could throw him out at any time. Â It’s my house. Â I bought it. Â I wish he was more appreciative on everything I do for him. Â I’ve made his life very easy. Â And I don’t ask for a lot from him. Â I’m actually a very laid back girl. Â I just want to get laid more and have a boyfriend who doesn’t cheat. Â My eyes would never wander then either. Â It would be nice if he could hold a job too. Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â
YOUR ABSOLUTELY RIGHT!!! & ONE MORE THING MEN WILL CHEAT US MORE IF WE ARE A ONLY A HOUSE WIFE THEY CAN EASILY MANIPULATE US & MEN CAN DO A LOTS OF BAD THINGS AGAINST THE WIFE BEC. THEY KNOW UR ONLY IN THE HOUSE & THOSE THE SAME AS MY RELIGION MY OMG U HAVE TO TELL TO UR HUSBAND IF U WANT TO GO OUT & WHERE ARE U GOING….. SO…… HAHAHA THEY CAN AWARE OF UR PRESENT… SOME MEN ARE REAL PIGS AND DO NOT DESERVE A GOOD WOMAN…